3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
