I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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