Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Randomize
