Please don't use social media to get back at me.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize