True but thats because hes a fetus.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize