i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize