seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
