I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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