Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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