I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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