im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
