i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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