The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
