You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
