god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
