Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
