Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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