i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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