i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
