nut hugger
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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