The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
