hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
