After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
