I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
