I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
