jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
