U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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