she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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