but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
