was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
