i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
