Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
