Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples

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  (317): She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples http://tfl.nu/mvdp
  Replies (36) Good night (1663) Bad night (1970)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything

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  (815): yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything http://tfl.nu/8gpe
  Replies (14) Good night (4430) Bad night (896)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"

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  (404): its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock" http://tfl.nu/i9yu
  Replies (28) Good night (2864) Bad night (636)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.

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  (267): He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever. http://tfl.nu/526w
  Replies (48) Good night (29344) Bad night (1257)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.

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  (313): So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial. http://tfl.nu/zbd1
  Replies (8) Good night (1256) Bad night (4830)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.

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  (608): I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter. http://tfl.nu/xqss
  Replies (13) Good night (3674) Bad night (1797)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.

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  (562): Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester. http://tfl.nu/c099
  Replies (3) Good night (1699) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying

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  (971): you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying http://tfl.nu/m75c
  Replies (8) Good night (1706) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.

  (1-515): View more from Iowa

  Any good?

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point

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  (515): You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka. (1-515): Any good? (515): Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point http://tfl.nu/htpx
  Replies (2) Good night (1210) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."

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  (512): You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid." http://tfl.nu/wv53
  Replies (4) Good night (1896) Bad night (498)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN

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  (406): I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN http://tfl.nu/6se9
  Replies (1) Good night (338) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.

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  (860): I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum. http://tfl.nu/q7aq
  Replies (0) Good night (639) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...

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  (615): I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget (1-615): Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from... http://tfl.nu/z1jn
  Replies (2) Good night (545) Bad night (214)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today

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  (250): dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today http://tfl.nu/mlhp
  Replies (1) Good night (421) Bad night (205)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.

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  (512): I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis. http://tfl.nu/cttq
  Replies (2) Good night (336) Bad night (246)

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