She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
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He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
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Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?