dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
