I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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