Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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