My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.