Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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