so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
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I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
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As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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