I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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