when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
