it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
