i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize