Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
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I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
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i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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