i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
