i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
