He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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