just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
