When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize