too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
