You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize