thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
