someone owes me an orgasm
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
