best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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