i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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