I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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