he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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