omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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