Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
