i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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