weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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