I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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