i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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