I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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